Lately, I've posted about the difficulties of having bipolar (notice I said having, not being). It is true that it is difficult at times, especially when I'm trying my hardest to control my emotions and it just doesn't quite seem to be good enough. But there are other times where I'm actually ok with it, maybe even (gasp!) thankful for it. This being the month of Thanksgiving, let me list a few things that bipolar has been good for.
I'm extremely sensitive. No, not like the weepy crying type! My instincts can usually pick up weird vibes or tensions in my immediate surroundings. This is a godsend, working where I do. Being able to notice the subtle changes in atmosphere before a person gets potentially violent really gives just enough time to prepare for it. Now I don't mean I have some odd superpower, it's just I can rely on my gut-feeling to be right a majority of the time.
My vivid imagination allows me to really emphasize with others. And what my imagination cannot cover, my sense of understanding what it's like to feel different generally covers the rest. For example, I may not truly know how it feels to lose a family member, nor would I try to act like I do. But I do know what it feels like to explain yourself to others and have them simply stare back at you with no words of comfort, just at a loss. While I understand grief comes in waves sometimes big and sometimes small, so too does mental illness. There are plenty of days where I can just go about my business, easy as pie, and bam! Suddenly I can't barely speak, or all I can see is hopelessness or nothing at all. Grief is similar, one minute you're fine, the next you're not. Now I'm not saying it's the same, nor that I'm the only person who can understand, please don't think that, I'm merely stating that sometimes it's nice to know that other people have similar feelings.
And most importantly, being able to see things with a slightly different perspective has helped me keep a good sense of humor. I can normally find humor in almost any situation (now some of that comes from my mom's side of the family!) from shopping at the grocery store to being mortared, my humor almost always makes an appearance! Being able to make others laugh can help most difficult situations.
Just because I suffer from an illness doesn't mean it's the end of the world. Plenty of well-known people have mental illnesses and they may have had rough patches but they made a mark on the world. Vivien Leigh was known for sometimes hearing voices and suffering major depressive episodes, yet she still played in a little movie called Gone With the Wind, as Scarlett O'Hara. How about Buzz Aldrin (Depression and alcoholism)? He was that guy who flew in Apollo 11 with another dude called, Neal Armstrong, you know they were the ones who landed and walked on the moon. Or what about Robin Williams? Yes, we all know how it turned out in the end, but almost any person can name at least one movie, TV show, or stand up of his. In fact I believe that due to his illness, he was able to play better characters than most others. The same man who did hilarious hits like Aladdin, Jumanji, and Mork and Mindy, also played deep characters in Good Will Hunting, Patch Adams (actually a blend of both light and dark character), and my two personal favorites, The Dead Poets Society (Oh Captain, my Captain!) and Awakenings. There is absolutely no doubt these people and many more left their mark! If they can live life with a mental illness the maybe I can too.
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