Memorial Day

I made it thru at least half the month before I saw the first commercial. Big huge letters and bright patriotic backgrounds telling me what a bundle I can save on Memorial Day weekend. But let me start from the beginning.

I dislike May. Maybe one of the few nice things my Iraqi vacation did for me was mash the most shittiest of my experiences into to one approximate 40 day period, starting in May and ending after the first 10 days of June. I don't know if giving pauses in between each thing would have helped or not, so I will choose to look on the positive side and say at least it all kind of happened at once.

For one, the riots were unending, the detainees knew that soon it would be too hot for them to riot so they made sure to do it almost daily. If it wasn't riot, it was escapes, or windstorm/sandstorm patrols; either way nobody got down time from work or even sleep really. Once we did get back to our living areas, hopefully the A/C worked well because the tents and especially the metal pods would bake you will you slept.

Then I found a childhood friend had been killed up north, less than a week later a sergeant from my home base was killed too also deployed up north. In between those two dates, Mother's day came and went and I am positive I did not get to call my mom. It was probably a good thing too, I was pretty full of rage by that point. And work went on, more detainees, riots, and escape attempts; most people now slept an average of 2-3 hours, it was too hot even with the A/C.

The final fun filled day literally exploded into the hottest day I have ever been in. Thankfully no Americans were killed but watching a good friend start exhibiting classic TBI signs is a little scary. The later part of the day was 135 degrees, I gave up worrying about rockets and thought I was dead and living in hell.

I'm not whining and I know many other vets have much more difficult experiences. I'm just explaining why I'm not a fan of May. Even now, most of the month I'm more agitated, angry, and my dreams are filled with Bucca. According to my doctor even my blood pressure spikes during this time. Weird. Compounded with my difficulties for this time period is the fact that Memorial Day is right at the end of the month.

Memorial Day is the day where we honor those who have died in service to our country. It is a day set aside to remember those who gave everything, their lives, their futures, and their safety, to ensure ours. How many children never knew their dad, mom, aunt, uncle, grandmother, or grandfather because they fought in France, Holland, Vietnam, or Korea? How many miss brothers, sisters, cousins, daughters, and sons, who left to fight in Afghanistan and Iraq? And so often this solemn day is smashed into a great day to get 25% off a new Ford or Chevy with a special 2.77% APR; or a 5 for $5 t-shirt deal at any store! Is that showing respect for the price that was paid for our freedom?!

I am sure that those who are gone would want us to live, that is what they fought for. But we can live and still remember and honor them. Have a family bbq, hang out with friends, live and laugh. But don't forget, please don't ever forget that those names on gravestones and memorials all over the world, were people who lived and who died to keep us safe and free.

“When you go home
Tell them of us, and say
For your tomorrow,
We gave our today.”

John Maxwell Edmonds

Ode to Mom

Dear Marmie,

I have started this three times and each time sounded more stupid than the last. How do I appropriately wish you Happy Mother's Day? I mean you are the giver of my life in a pretty literal sense! There is a lot I could say about you but can I show you instead some of the lessons I learned from you?

Do you remember living on Debra Drive? Of course you do, but I do a little bit too. I remember watching The Man From Snowy River over and over, learning a whole new not so good four letter word and singing it out for the whole neighborhood! You were not a fan of that! What I can't remember is ever going without. How you made everything balance on just your salary from Pizza Hut, I'll never understand. But you did. We never went hungry, the heat worked, and the lights and water stayed on. You came home from long days on your feet and still had time to play and be with me. You showed me what a driven mom can do to provide for her child.

I remember when we left New York. I was devastated, but I never really thought how much you must have hurt too. You were leaving your mother and father, almost all the family, everything and everywhere you have known and loved. You were leaving it all behind for a new future, husband, and a military lifestyle that you couldn't have possibly been totally ready for. Not once did I hear you complain about this (the Missouri weather and insects were another thing!), you took it in stride and even tried to make it fun for a sad, pouting 6 year old. Plus a 1,300 mile roadtrip before DVDs, Ipads, and such; all with a curious 6 year old who asked A LOT of questions! How did you and Dad survive? You showed me how to accept new challenges and adventures with humor and flexibility.

Not many people nowadays can say their mom taught them the three basic R's. I can! Just attempting this you had to have the courage of a bomb technician! Or insanity, whichever word you choose. The reading was fun enough but remember trying to teach me math?! Boy, weren't both of us glad when dad came home from work! But I also remember some of the looks, and attitudes of the neighbors at times; it wasn't popular to homeschool and people were pretty rude about it at times. Remember when "someone" called DCFS and the guy had me read a paragraph for him? I still remember the look on his face when I read the whole paragraph and he said I read it better than his daughter! Thank you for showing me that doing things different from the norm is ok and to never let others opinions change what I know is best. Also thank you for letting me got to the ROA and finally public school; we would have killed each other after a while!

More recently, I remember how shocked I was that you guys where actually moving to KC! I couldn't believe you would just pick up and move after 15 years! How dare you teach me that it's ok to be unpredictable! Plus you now run a small business! I remember when you were too scared to fly, now you jump on a plane with or without dad (preferably with I know, but he doesn't go to all your tea stuff), a true world traveler you are!

Marmie, I could go on and on, but you might get tired after a while. I just wanted to say I remember the lessons you taught me but I even remember the ones you didn't even realize you were teaching me. I love that we are finally in that place where we are friends as well as mother and daughter! It's amazing to me that I still get so excited to visit with my mom but also with my close friend, I'm not quite sure when the transition occurred but I'm truly happy it did. I love seeing how you are going through each stage of life with grace, courage, and joy! I'm proud when people tell me I'm funny because I know I got my sense of humor definitively from you! I love you and hope you have a great Mother's Day. I'll be calling later!